012: Grammar Nazi’s
I wanted to dedicate an entire post to people referring to other people or things as “_________ Nazi” but I’ll save that for another time since I sincerely hate Grammar Nazi’s on Tumblr.
Here’s the thing:
This is the internet. No one gives a fuck. Get over yourself. As much as we all know that you got that really useful English degree from state, no one gives a shit. Even the best writers have to be edited. What’s more, having perfect grammar doesn’t make you any better of a person, just like having a Mac and constantly riffing on people who don’t doesn’t make you any cooler or smarter, just a little poorer than your average Joe who probably wants a Mac but can’t afford one because money doesn’t grow on trees cliche>.
Seriously, stop it! It’s annoying. Stop talking about fixing typos or mentioning spelling erros and ending that rude, horribly insecure comment with:
“It’s the English major in me!” or
“It’s just one of my pet peeves!” or
“It’s no big deal. It’s just one of those things that I notice!”
Here’s the thing: it’s not just one of those things that you notice. It’s one of those things that you want people to notice about you, which is SAD and PATHETIC and EVERYTHING THAT’S WRONG WITH THE INTERNET AND THE “NON-MAINSTREAM YET ACCESSIBLE” TUMBLR CORE.
Stop it!
When I see people write that shit, I immeadeately unfollow them. I immediately know that they have a certain level of insecurity that I don’t want to +follow on my dashboard. People who are Grammar Nazi’s are the same people who first fell in love with the Shins while watching Garden State and bemoan others who say things like, “You just now heard of the Shins?” after watching Grey’s Anatomy or something.
You know, because it’s okay to be elitist if you really were a listener of the first album. It’s not okay to be elitist if you first started listening to the group secretly after taking Natalie Portman’s recommendation of “life-changing” abilities to heart, even if Chutes Too Narrow was already on the lower spectrum of the barometer for HIGHLY BLOGGABLE content.
Those people are sad, and insecure, and ripe for ihatetumblr commentary and criticism, which is why I wholeheartedly believe those people are the SAME people who are Grammar Nazi’s.
I think you know who those people are. I think you also know that you really hate those people and that you secretly read their just plain rude re-blogged commentary and wish you could bitchthemout, but then you remember that this is Tumblr, the ultimate bloggable hug-in and so you simply stew in passive agressive tendencies, waiting for that same person to make a misogynistic comment, in which case you can kill them with intelligence.
Grammar Nazi’s who need to shut the fuck up and get over themselves because this is the internet and they QUITE OBVIOUSLY lead boring, unfulfilling “realities”: a reason to definitely, without a doubt, yesirree hate Tumblr.
