i hate tumblr.

would tumblr be better if you took away the ability to reblog? what would make it better?

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:59:00 -0400

From Fek:

i applaud your intent, sir (or madam, although i don’t find that likely; no offense). the problem is that there’s a small amount of people on tumblr that’re doing the exact opposite of what they set out to do: individualize themselves through an output of information. those who follow them just spread it thin, and everyone ends up reading the same shit. the ability to reblog (as opposed to simply linking) contributes to a huge mass of people talking about and extending the same memes and trends until a larger blog grabs on to it. which is besides the uncanny level of narcissism on display around those parts, some of which i can even cop to getting in the spirit of. it’s bad, it spreads, it’s easy to push forward. why does tumblr inspire such shameless narcissism? is it because of the format itself, or the people (i won’t name names, but you’re on the right track) that made the format popular?

would tumblr be better if you took away the ability to reblog? what would make it better?

My semi-literate response:

I have no idea where the shameless narcissism comes from. I’ve always felt like it started with the couple of people who originally began their Tumblrs as such. As others have been witness to their own “shameless narcissism”, they in turn started re-directing the content on their page to themselves and subsequently started branding themselves like a “Julia Allison” or a “Jakob Lodwick”, even if they only have 30 people +following them.

I actually like “re-blogging”, but find it to be annoying when others re-blog the same thing (usually something pretty boring, bland and vanilla) a bunch of times, adding no commentary. There was some quote by Kurt Vonnegut or Dave Eggers, or someone like that who most people recognize by name but probably haven’t read any of their work, that was re-blogged four times in a row on my dashboard. I thought I would lose my shit. As the Tumblr community grows, these sort of actions only increase making my displeasure with Tumblr increase. It’s frustrating.

I'm sorry.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:33:48 -0400

From [redacted]:

Feel free to continue to harass Peter W. Knox. He annoys the hell out of me. Or maybe you should stop. I don’t follow him, and the only time I see his stuff is when you reblog him.

I am sorry Tumblr community for pulling you helplessly into the world of Peter W. Knox by constantly re-blogging the “Apatovian” fantasy that is Peter W. Knox’s life.

I will no longer subject you to his photos or (lol) insight.

This was a HUGE error in my judgment and I hope you can forgive me.

With that said, I still plan or referencing the self-made Internet star whenever possible. It is, afterall, Peter W. Knox’s followers who were the initial source of “Things I Hate” (Cause, really, look at his Tumblr page. Have you ever seen someone so lovable?

Although I hate these (polls), I must ask...

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:27:00 -0400

Who is Frangry?

Is her name a combination of Francine or Francis or Francesca and the word “angry” to signify her “sassy attitude, independence and unique spirit?”

After asking fellow Tumblrs to try and figure out who I am in order to finally end my Tumblr project of hate, I received tens (because really, this is just Tumblr after all) of e-mails identifying me as a “Frangry.”

As I’m sure some of you know, I replied befuddled.

Who is this Frangry?

Why would anyone assume I am a Frangry?

Am I less perceptive and “with it” when it comes to Tumblr celebrities, because I didn’t know who or what a Frangry is?

Is Frangry someone I should +follow and re-blog?

From the fab Jessicagoldharalson (a person to NOT hate on Tumblr):

Are you keepinganotebook?

If you were mascarah, the creator of Tumblinas (which I also hate btw) that would be even hilarious-er, but somehow I doubt you are.

Who is keepinganotebook? (What kind of screenname is “keepinganotebook” anyway? I mean, I’m sure I should browse through her Tumblr and not judge based on a screenname, but I’m lazy.)

I know Mascarah, or at least I know of her, as she is indeed the creator of Tumblinas and everyone knows that Tumblinas is my constant source of personal affirmation”non-mainstream yet accessible” content to re-blog.

I am not Mascarah.

012: Grammar Nazi's

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:31:33 -0400

I wanted to dedicate an entire post to people referring to other people or things as “_________ Nazi” but I’ll save that for another time since I sincerely hate Grammar Nazi’s on Tumblr.

Here’s the thing:

This is the internet. No one gives a fuck. Get over yourself. As much as we all know that you got that really useful English degree from state, no one gives a shit. Even the best writers have to be edited. What’s more, having perfect grammar doesn’t make you any better of a person, just like having a Mac and constantly riffing on people who don’t doesn’t make you any cooler or smarter, just a little poorer than your average Joe who probably wants a Mac but can’t afford one because money doesn’t grow on trees cliche>.

Seriously, stop it! It’s annoying. Stop talking about fixing typos or mentioning spelling erros and ending that rude, horribly insecure comment with:

“It’s the English major in me!” or

“It’s just one of my pet peeves!” or

“It’s no big deal. It’s just one of those things that I notice!”

Here’s the thing: it’s not just one of those things that you notice. It’s one of those things that you want people to notice about you, which is SAD and PATHETIC and EVERYTHING THAT’S WRONG WITH THE INTERNET AND THE “NON-MAINSTREAM YET ACCESSIBLE” TUMBLR CORE.

Stop it!

When I see people write that shit, I immeadeately unfollow them. I immediately know that they have a certain level of insecurity that I don’t want to +follow on my dashboard. People who are Grammar Nazi’s are the same people who first fell in love with the Shins while watching Garden State and bemoan others who say things like, “You just now heard of the Shins?” after watching Grey’s Anatomy or something.

You know, because it’s okay to be elitist if you really were a listener of the first album. It’s not okay to be elitist if you first started listening to the group secretly after taking Natalie Portman’s recommendation of “life-changing” abilities to heart, even if Chutes Too Narrow was already on the lower spectrum of the barometer for HIGHLY BLOGGABLE content.

Those people are sad, and insecure, and ripe for ihatetumblr commentary and criticism, which is why I wholeheartedly believe those people are the SAME people who are Grammar Nazi’s.

I think you know who those people are. I think you also know that you really hate those people and that you secretly read their just plain rude re-blogged commentary and wish you could bitchthemout, but then you remember that this is Tumblr, the ultimate bloggable hug-in and so you simply stew in passive agressive tendencies, waiting for that same person to make a misogynistic comment, in which case you can kill them with intelligence.

Grammar Nazi’s who need to shut the fuck up and get over themselves because this is the internet and they QUITE OBVIOUSLY lead boring, unfulfilling “realities”: a reason to definitely, without a doubt, yesirree hate Tumblr.

011: Animated GIFs

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:09:34 -0400

Guest hate by CHVNX:

I luvz me some tumble logging. I often find myself wanting to upload animated GIFs, but Tumblr fucking hates me and does not animate them. Ever. The only place they are animated is in the dashboard and only as the 100px thumbnails. When you click the animated thumbnails to enlarge your image, it stops animating. I’ve missed out on several cool-as-fuck posts ‘cause I don’t how to get around this. Maybe you need to work at Vimeo, live in New York and use a Mac? I don’t fucking know.

Seriously, Tumblr needs to fix this shit. Get with the standards, tumblr!

I can agree with CHVNX. Animate .gifs that only work on the dashboard and scaled to 100px thumbnails: a reason to hate Tumblr

Issues such as animated .gifs only working on the dashboard and scaled to 100px thumbnails not being resolved when random-ass features like typing “audio” or whatever that thing is in your dashboard to listen to random “non-mainstream yet accessible” audio-streams from your +followers are implemented: a reason to hate Tumblr.

010: Projects

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:02:00 -0400

I hate projects that use Tumblr as a platform, even if ihatetumblr is a project using Tumblr as a platform.

I hate that some projects illicit anonymity and special “guest authors,” as if a certain number of +followers designates literary talents. I hate helpmehelpyou or whatever the hell that delusional woman is taking upon herself to attempt to do because no one seems to want to even inquire for her help and she’s taking it upon herself to “solve people’s problems”.

There is always a problem on Tumblr.

There is always someone to solve the problem on Tumblr.

Here’s my problem:

As an active Tumblr user, I find is disheartening to see so many of my +followers +following this Tumblr. And yet, no one actually mentions it in their own Tumblrs.

This leads me to one conclusion:

A lot of people hate Tumblr.

BUT.

A lot of people don’t want to admit it, and will merely get their joneses through an anonymous internet scribe.

They continue to Tumbl with abandon, re-blogging and adding no commentary, posting images and audio streams of “non-mainstream yet accessible” celebrities or musicians, and yet, and this is the sad part, they +follow me because there is clearly something missing from their Tumblr experience.

Perhaps it’s the anger we’re all afraid to express. Perhaps it’s their annoyance with the hug-in that is a break up, an engagement, or a souffle on Tumblr. Perhaps it’s the inevitable passive-aggressive tendencies of their +followers when Peter W. Knox makes a comment that is out of line or Siddman posts another ass and titties shot. Perhaps it’s the group mentality, of owning a Mac or liking cats or voting for Obama when you really want to make a long post on the joys of your Dell, you golden retriever and your support for Hilary (cause no one on Tumblr is a republican) in your state’s primary.

Or perhaps, if you’re like me, it’s the projects, the goals, the on-going efforts: Audio-streaming blogs of cover songs infrequently updated, poor attempts of social satire in response to Cosmopolitan-lite Tumblinas, unrequited internet infatuation otherwise known as a Tumbl crush.

Perhaps, if you are the author of “ihateihatetumblr”, it’s this very journal.

I feel you.

I get where you’re coming from.

I know how you feel, which is why I plan on closing this “project” as soon as anyone figures out who I am. This shouldn’t be very hard, will probably take no more than a week, and clues abound. The biggest one: I’m a chick. Much like the majority of posts by Siddman, I have ass and titties likewhoa. Because Tumblr is almost always a sausage-fest, this should be a good starting point. Also, I’m a chick who hates Tumblinas, which probably puts me in a group of about ten ladies who have their heads screwed on right and don’t cum looking at pictures of flower arrangements or my sorority’s charter pledge. Any ideas? You can e-mail me at ihatetumblr@gmail.com. If no one figures it out (which is very possible since this Tumblr is completely unlike my real Tumblr), I’ll probably just end this thing pretty soon anyways. Is there really a point in dedicating myself to one of the major problems on Tumblr in the first place?

Probably not.

peterwknox: A collection of the gay ads constantly peppering...

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:40:13 -0400

peterwknox:

A collection of the gay ads constantly peppering my sidebar.

(my last post on this, I swear)

I was under the impression that Peter W. Knox, like most of the criminally “undersexed” Tumblr population, was up for a good tugjob, regardless of any gender or sexual normative.

Slightly masking your homophobia: a reason to hate Tumblr.

Peter W. Knox, I feel as though we are in a mutually exclusive...

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:34:41 -0400

Peter W. Knox, I feel as though we are in a mutually exclusive relationship in which you provide “Internet gems”, and I can’t help but re-blog.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

(via peterwknox) Posting details of Saturday night plans as if...

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:33:06 -0400

(via peterwknox)

Posting details of Saturday night plans as if others care: a reason to hate Tumblr.

Trying to get other +followers to believe that you will be spending the evening with someone else even though you’ve shown no indication that you actively pursue the opposite sex, or at least any “Tumblr crushes”: another reason to hate Tumblr.

No thanks, man.*

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:30:42 -0400

randyhaddock:

jessicagoldharalson:

Also, I’m tired of everyone on Tumblr acting like special snowflakes who are just sooo above being “negative”. Stop fronting. While no one likes eternal pessimism, acting as if sunshines and rainbows fly out of your ass 24/7 is disingenuous, not to mention ignorant of the spectrum of human emotion.

/rant
Very very well said. Couldn’t agree more.
Corrected a little typo btw. Totally the English major in me. Sorry!

Jessicagoldharalson is someone to not hate on Tumblr.

Re-blogging with little commentary but mentioning “Corrected a little typo btw. Totally the English major in me. Sorry!”: a reason to hate Tumblr.

Professing to be an English major but still actively using the internet abbreviation “btw”: a reason to hate Tumblr.

peterwknox: Scoring another Radar double double. I don’t...

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:59:45 -0400

peterwknox:

Scoring another Radar double double.

I don’t hate Tumblr Radar, even though they sometimes feature Panic! at the Disco audio-streams as if this is 2005…and Xanga.

BUT.

I do hate the powers that be for forcing certain Tumblr-folk down our throat. I’m not saying that I have anything against Peter W. Knox, as I find him completely entertaining and earnest, but I do find fault in inundating the masses with the particular parsings of one person, especially if that one person (maybe not Peter W. Knox, maybe…well, I can’t think right now but) is posting a quote that another Tumblr ~*celebrity~* already posted.

Dumb shit by the same people on the Tumblr Radar mainpage: a reason to hate Tumblr.

And:

Using the phrase “double double”: a reason to hate Tumblr (though I’m sure Petey was just being silly. He would never actively try to sound so corny on the internet.)

peterwknox: Take Notice: Please get in touch with me if you...

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:54:22 -0400

peterwknox:

Take Notice: Please get in touch with me if you fit into one (or more) of these categories:

You are Kevin Devine

You know Kevin Devine

You like Kevin Devine

You like Kevin Devine’s music

You like seeing Kevin Devine play his music live

You like live music

You like GA concerts

You are going to Kevin Devine’s show this Sunday night at the Music Hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn

You would like to go to Kevin Devine’s show this Sunday night at the Music Hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn

You are cool and fun to hang out with.

AND if you fit into all of these categories:

You can make it to the Music Hall of Williamsburg this Sunday night by 7pm

You would like to use my second ticket and will repay me back in cash, drinks, or by being so awesome I forget I bought two tickets on optimisim only.

All others need not apply.

Feeling sympathy for others who have to scour their Tumblr dashboard for a “date” to a concert: a reason to hate Tumblr.

tumblinas: With my mom (left) and my aunt. Two strong, cool...

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:52:54 -0400

tumblinas:

With my mom (left) and my aunt.

Two strong, cool chicks =)

Real life people, not just internet people, not just +followers: a reason to find hope in this cluttered internet age.

Posting pictures of real life people, not just internet people, not just +followers to a group that ultimately shits on the modern day woman by telling her to get her Cosmo joneses online, through Tumblr: a reason to hate Tumblr.

Get Involved!

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:49:00 -0400

peterwknox:

7days7authors:

We’re looking for writers of all stars and stripes so please don’t be shy and drop us an email!

If you would like to be part of the project or have any questions, please email us at 7days7authors [at] gmail.com.

I was contacted by this guy, Yoseph, and agreed to be one of the writers to start. I need that weekly push to put something substantial and original out there. He needs more people to contribute, so if you’re interested, email him at:

7days7authors@googlemail.com

What I love most about Peter W. Knox is that he makes it his ultimate internet duty to not brag, even subtly. Peter W. Knox takes the time to present himself as openly and honestly as possible, without offending others by acknowledging his “invitations” to write for a Tumblr group. Peter W. Knox doesn’t think it’s necessary that you know that he was invited first, without question, because his skills of REBLOGGING were so mind-blowing, because Peter W. Knox is a good person. He’s just posting this message so ya’ll can go out there and contribute. But, you gotta ask first, and maybe you’ll make the cut, not like Petey, who’s literary talents are so BLATANT by his 100+ posts per day. Go get ‘em, tiger!

009: Yes, I am a "chick". No, I am not a "dude".

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:42:00 -0400

Whoa, man. Does that change everything? Am I no longer valid as “Internet Person Creating Sometimes Ironic Social Commentary?”

Having a clit instead of a dick and having that fact acknowledged through an idiotic page called “Tumblettes”: a reason to definitely hate Tumblr.

topherchris: [Zero 7 .. In The Waiting Line] People who post...

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:25:04 -0400

topherchris:

[Zero 7 .. In The Waiting Line]

People who post songs from the Garden State soundtrack: a reason to hate Tumblr.

The Garden State soundtrack, much like Garden State itself, was not solely produced by Zach Braff. Okay, people? Can we just get that out of the way? It’s strange because most people have just now caught on to the three-year long Zach Braff backlash and still don’t know this.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s like a shitty douche and all but that cd was pretty good. Like, I heard of the Shins before (cause I mean, who didn’t man?) but yeah, it’s always good to hear a little Nick Drake in unexpected places. And like, Zero 7 are totally awesome. I mean, yeah, they sound similar to Air aesthetically, but Air has totally fallen off anyway. Have you even heard Pocket Symphony? Major disappointment.”

But acknowledging a song from the Garden State soundtrack, regardless of its “non-mainstream but accessible” neo-trip hop aesthetic is still embarrassing, and something, without a doubt, to hate about Tumblr.

Do you remember how great this song was?

I’m not just posting it cause it’s the first time I’ve heard it or to reminisce about how great 2004 was when the dollar was still strong, sorta, and the way seemed like a good idea. I’m posting it because it’s a good song, man, and it makes me seem interesting, different, sensitive. This is especially important during the next Tumblr meet-up, where I plan on usurping Peter W. Knox of his title of “Tumblr Internet Crush Guy for Girls Who I Probably Wouldn’t Date in Real Life.”

Time to get tough: How being nasty can improve your life

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:14:32 -0400

Time to get tough: How being nasty can improve your life:

Seeing a link re-blogged 6 times and knowing that no one on your dashboard will actually follow through with this idea because they are so congratulatory: a reason to hate Tumblr.

Tumblr:

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:49:46 -0400

peterwknox:

like an RSS Reader for the entire internet where the best stuff rises to the top.

And if not the best stuff, lots and lots of jpegs of random Japanese women in various stages of undress.

I stand by my point.

Really, Petey?

008: Tumblr crushes

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:46:00 -0400

Are you kidding me with this shit?

You have a crush on someone cause they post trailers to the next episode of LOST and audio clips of “non-mainstream but accessible” musicians like Ryan Adams and Feist?

This is an anonymous way for you to pass along a hint!

If you’re too shy to tell someone YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW that you have an INTERNET CRUSH on them, you need to start re-evaluating your life, or at least you’re time spent online.

Projecting your feelings of a crush from the internet to an imaginary book about an imaginary character: a reason to hate Tumblcrush.

Trolling for one-on-one Tumblr meet-ups…anonymously: a reason to hate Tumblcrush (Dear God, it’s me, Peter W. Knox?)

Asking to find out who your internet crush is in the hopes of…cybersex? and shamelessly pronouncing your lack of fulfillment in the real world: Yes, definitely a reason to hate +followers of Tumblcrush.

Bordering on stalker territory, alluding to masturbatory fantasies: a reason to hate Tumblcrush crushers.

Not only alluding to, but pretty much presenting a description of recent masturbatory-enhanced fantasies: another reason to hate Tumblcrush.

From fatmanatee on Tumblcrush:

A moment of seriousness about tumblcrushes.

I don’t know how seriously people should be taking these crushes, but I’m just going to throw it out there anyway: guys, if you’re interested in a girl from one of the meetups, just put it out there. No games, no pretending to be Mystery, just ask her out. And ladies, be courteous about it either way. If you are uninterested, that’s cool, just say so, and we can all return to being friends. Hopefully with minimal awkwardness and hurt feelings. Nobody wants to see a potential connection screwed over because of worries about it getting plastered here. We should be smarter than that.

Okay, I’m done. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I don’t know if I would encourage the ladies to be courteous about it either way. Would this really be easy to say?

“Thanks for finding my re-blogged photos, “non-mainstream but accessible” audio posts, Barack Obama propaganda, and inspirational quotes so sexy, but no, I’m gonna have to decline. It’s not you, it’s me.”

Actually, if someone does utter this, say, at the next TOTALLY AWESOME Tumblr meet-up at a “non-mainstream but accessible” bar in NYC, please record it on your digi-cam and upload that baby to Vimeo so we can all GLEEFULLY re-blog with NO COMMENTARY (cause, it’s not really necessary in that case, is it?)

"Dude, chill the fuck out."

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:24:26 -0400

“Dude, chill the fuck out.”

- People who assume sexual identity based on a blog on Tumblr and unsuccessfully create a meta “response”: another reason to hate Tumblr.